Changes...they are a-comin'

Tomorrow will be the third of my 6 Taxol treatments.  All told, I will have completed 7 of 10 chemos.  7 of 10!!  Back in January I never thought I'd be close to the end, let alone already there.  It's funny how fast "forever" can really pass. 

As chemo moves towards completion, we start to focus on radiation.  Five days after my last chemo I will have my radiation "simulation," where the radiation oncologist (RO) will determine exactly how best to radiate my breast while avoiding my heart and lungs as much as possible.  Radiation has come a long way in the last 50 years, and the ability to target a small area is remarkable.  Once we've determined the best course of action I'll start 30 sessions of radiation, five days a week for 6 weeks.  I hope to be done by the end of July so that, perhaps, I can have a few weeks to recuperate before school and my internship start in September.

My plan, of course, is that radiation will be the end of the "big" courses of treatment.  I will be taking Tamoxifen for the next five years so treatment technically will continue for many years.  But the "biggies" - chemo and rads - will be out of the way.  That's my plan.

There are some changes I have made, or am making, or will be making, in an effort to reduce my risk for recurrence or metastases.  First, I stopped drinking.  This proved to be more difficult than I expected, since Ken and I have really learned to enjoy wine over the last several years, and make annual trips to wine trails and particularly special vineyards.  Will liquor ever pass my lips again?  Maybe once or twice a year, in small quantities.  Why quit drinking?  To lessen the burden on my liver, where BC has a habit of metastasizing.

Second, there will be an elimination of white and refined sugar.  You may think this is easy, but a lifetime of sugar-induced happiness means changing not just how I eat, but how I think.  I love me some Ben and Jerry's; I could easily live on Peeps and Robin Eggs.  And licorice is and Good N Plenty are a food group, as far as I'm concerned.  Oh, how I will miss Peppermint Mocha coffee creamer.  Don't get me started on french toast from good, homemade challah bread, either.  Those will become a distant memory, and I admit to being sad about that.  Studies have shown that sugar can fuel cancer growth.  Some suggest an Atkins-like diet; others suggest an even more radical ketone diet.  I'm not sure I can do either, but I feel that eliminating sugars decreases my chance for recurrence. 

While I haven't been able to exercise much of late, I know that running and yoga will be helpful in maintaining my weight (excess body fat can also fuel cancer growth) as well as keeping my body healthy and young(er).  Actually, now that the weather is nice I hope to get out and at least walk (or crawl) every day, as much as possible.

Let's be honest:  I have no history of BC in my family, and my cancer was pretty aggressive to begin with, so who knows where this came from, and what the future holds?  But if I don't try, I don't make changes, I don't do everything I can do to keep it from coming back, I am cheating myself out of chances.  If it comes back, I know it won't be my fault, but there will be a part of me that wonders "What if?"  What if I had stopped drinking, or eating Twinkies, or had started running again?  If I make these changes, then I can think, "At least I tried." 

That's all I can do, is try.  Because every day another friend, another acquaintance, another person I know has a recurrence, finds a spot on her liver or lungs or bone or brain, goes from Stage I to Stage IV.  I can't make any promises - I can only try.