Stepping off the old path, on to the new

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of excitement, adventure, love, hope, courage and joy.  Blessings have fluttered around and landed in my heart a thousand times, as I am reminded again how lucky I am to be surrounded by the most incredible family and friends.

A week ago Ken and I were honored to attend a benefit concert on our behalf, organized by the members of my son Michael's band (Cyk Cylinder) and their amazing families.  The venue space was donated by the owner, and several other local bands participated, too.  I have struggled with describing this event because, frankly, I am still at a loss for words.  People spent so much of their time, energy and passion to gather donations, make an afghan, bake cupcakes, organize the raffle, pull bands together, get the word out to the community - for someone they don't really know.  They used their considerable gifts and talents as a vehicle to help another human being, and being the recipient of that generosity and kindness has been life-changing.  I am so honored and humbled, and will work hard to "pay it forward" in some small way, each and every day.  

The next day, on Sunday, we gathered with another group of wonderfully loving, supportive and generous family and friends as we walked and ran the Komen 5k in Kalamazoo.  Ken's daughter Miriam and her husband Aaron drove in from Madison; Ruth and Sean flew in from NYC.  Mary and Stephanie cut their Traverse City vacation short and drove down to support us.  Ken brought several coworkers and their friends and spouses.  Our dear running friends Lorelei and Kelsey organized "Team Nancy" (thank goodness someone else did, because I can't organize my sock drawer these days!), and we rocked the race!  It was late - 2:00 - on a day where the temperature (before moving or breathing) was 90+ - in other words, not the optimal day for a race.  And yet, we did it - and did it well!  I had not run in three months, and even walking has been a challenge, but we all crossed the finish line in style! 

Some of our team members, from left:  Aaron, Miriam, me, Ken, Ruth,
Clint, Rodney and Laura.  Sean is hiding behind the camera.

Even though life is really all about the journey, everything had been leading up to the end...the destination.  Our celebrations carried us into the week we'd anxiously been awaiting for 4.5 months - my final chemo.

On Thursday Ken and I headed to the infusion center for my last treatment.  We carried pink flowers and boxes of chocolates to share with the staff - the friends - who have supported us through these days I hate so much, held our hands and wiped our tears, and have always been more compassionate and caring and patient than I could have ever hoped for.  These women and men have made a very scary and difficult time that much easier to get through, and there was no true way to share with them the depth of our gratitude and how much they have changed our lives.

Except, maybe, the Boob Fairy.

Yes - the Boob Fairy, all pinked up in tulle!

Yes, I did.  I went to my final chemo in full Boob Fairy regalia - all pink tulle and shiny sweaters and glitter shoes!  Someone commented that they'd never seen anyone dress up for a chemo appointment - but they seemed to appreciate my need to celebrate the ending of this part of my journey.  People came from other areas of the office "just to see," and we all had a good laugh.  As usual I slept through most of my treatment, but I still felt like I was doing the Happy Dance inside.

Eventually it was over, and so we gathered our things and left.

And I cried on the way home, but it was okay.  I am grateful and so very happy that chemo has ended, but it has defined my life for so many months that I feel a little lost right now.  Part of this journey is learning to navigate the New Life we are living - the appointments, the schedules, the testing, the treatment, the changes in every aspect of What Was.  What Will Be is different, but still good, and we look forward to moving forward and taking that next step.

Doing it in style and grace - and lots of shiny pink tulle, to be certain!