Maybe when I'm done, I'll "connect the dots" and create something festive and celebratory across my chest. Like a battleship. Only prettier. And bigger.
Radiation will begin after June 9th, and last for 30 treatments - once a day, five days a week for six weeks. The first 4.5 weeks will be radiation of the entire breast; the last 1.5 weeks will be a "boost" - a very small radiation area pointed directly at the tumor site. Short-term side effects are minimal - I'll likely be tired (much like chemo, the effects of radiation will be cumulative over the 6-week period) and will be sporting a bitchin' sunburn - but just on my left breast (I'm going to make up a story that involves tequila, a pool boy, a hot sunny day, and falling asleep with only half my tank top on...) Long-term effects can include heart and lung damage and lymphedema (swelling of the arm/hand on the affected side).
In an effort to curb the potential heart/lung damage, I will be using a scuba breathing apparatus, of sorts, during each of the treatments. It's a really interesting thing, and the tech and I spent well over an hour refining the way it would work. In short - I take a deep breath and, using the mouthpiece, am forced to hold the breath at a very specific point in the exhalation, for 25 seconds. Filling my lungs with air creates a space between my heart/lungs and the tumor site; holding my breath at that very specific point creates optimal space, decreasing the likelihood that radiation will cause damage (or, if it does hit my heart/lungs, will hit the smallest area possible).
While I was feeling very free and liberated after last week's final chemo, it hit me yesterday that treatment isn't yet over. I have been told that radiation will be much easier in every way than chemo, and for now I trust that prediction. I don't mean to sound impatient, but I just really, r-e-a-l-l-y want this all to be done. So yesterday felt a little like a slap in the face to someone who thought she had gotten away from it all...only to be reminded that it ain't done yet.
It's all good - just another step in the journey, a new path in the road. And besides - I got free tattoos out of the deal.
Too bad they couldn't at least make them a color!! It is normal to feel elated then somewhat depressed. The good news is the long term effects can, and will be a lifetime free of more cancer. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to grieve. You are so strong but still need some down time. xoxo
ReplyDeleteWhen I got my tattoo's I posted on Facebook and some of my friends were quite concerned and thought I had gone over to the dark side. Now they are part of my badges of honour. Radiation is certainly kinder to the system and they are right in saying the fatigue slowly builds - it takes a while to get over the fatigue and 4 months later my energy levels still aren't back to normal. The on,y hassle about radiation was having to go to the hospital daily and fit my day in around the appointment times.
ReplyDeleteThe breathing exercises sound interesting and aren't something I've heard of - hope they do the trick for you.
Hope it all goes well and it will be an easier ride than what you've already gone through. Catherine
Catherine: Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I hope you start feeling better soon. A number of people have suggested I use the tattoo's as a place to "start" and incorporate them into a beautiful tattoo once rads are over with. I'm thinking about it, although I don't know that I'm a "chest tattoo" kinda girl. :-)
ReplyDeleteI am so afraid of the long-term exhaustion with radiation, given that September brings an intense return to school and work and internship. But, I figure I've survived *this*, I can survive anything. We'll make it through! *hugs*