"What happened to your hair?!"

Slowly but surely, those around me at EMU are learning about my diagnosis.  I'm not being secretive about it, I just haven't been sharing it with many people.  As my hair has fled and my wearing of scarves has increased, more people are asking what's going on.  They're not necessarily asking me about it, but they're finding out regardless.

Today, a student I think I've talked with briefly once or twice, passes me in the hall and says,

"Are you having a bad hair day?"

I'm wearing my new favorite Beaubeau (black with a blue and purple abstract design) and before thinking I respond nicely, "No, not a bad hair day."

"So why are you wearing a scarf if you're not having a bad hair day?" 

"I'm not having a bad hair day.  I'm having a no hair day."

"You don't have any hair?  Why don't you have any hair?"

"Well, chemo kinda killed my hair."

"You're doing chemo?  Why are you doing chemo?"

I really don't know this student.  She's nice enough and kind enough and I didn't mean to get this far into a conversation I didn't want to have, but it happened rather quickly and it just.  kinda.  happened.

So I don't respond.  I just don't say anything at this point.  After a few seconds she responds,

"Oh, my, you have cancer.  You have cancer?!  Oh, goodness, let me give you a hug..."

Two hours later I'm working at my desk and another student - one I've known for a couple of years - approaches my desk and says very loudly,

"What happened to your hair?"

"Well, I lost my hair."

"Why did you lose your hair?"

"I'm doing chemo."

"Chemo?  Oh my god, you have breast cancer.  You have breast cancer?  Oh my god...  Why aren't you wearing a wig?

I don't know how she made the jump from chemo to breast cancer (maybe that's just the obvious place to go, I don't know).  It turns out both her sister and mother have had breast cancer, and both are five years out and doing well.  It was a good conversation, even though it started out rather awkwardly.

It's interesting how some people don't want to talk about it, and some people have no qualms asking questions that appear, on the surface, to be less than tactful.  But they ask - they're curious and they want to know.  And they're asking me, not someone else.  So even though both of these conversations felt a little uncomfortable, I realized that was my own issue - my own discomfort with how I feel I look to others, and what I perceive my scarves are saying.  I'd rather have the conversations, than leave people wondering, speculating, or whispering amongst themselves.